I know what you’re thinking, yes you are an adult and yes you may know what you are doing with NSA dating. I am of the opinion that this is still worth writing as there may be things which you had not considered.
Firstly, how did you meet the guy you are dating? There is a good chance that you met online, a lot of people do these days. There is nothing wrong with this and it is often a very good way to get to know someone before you actually meet them in the flesh. You may have been talking to this guy (or girl) for a little while before agreeing to a first date and there is a good possibility that you have a pretty good idea of what he is like. It is always worth remembering that you could be wrong. You only know what the other person has told you and there are a few people who are devious enough to mislead when online. I am in no way saying that everybody who is online looking for love is a weirdo, sexual pervert or anything of the sort, most are not. Unfortunately, there are a tiny minority who are. Yes the chances of you meeting that 1 in 1000 (or whatever the statistics are) is very minimal and you are likely to never come across anyone who poses a threat in any way. I am not here to put you off internet dating, my only aim is to ensure that you go about it in a safe way.
The most important thing to remember (even before the first date) is never give out contact information. It is almost certain that you have swapped numbers before a first date, and this is perfectly normal and not overly risky as these can be changed if need be. The same applies to email but not to your home address. Yes it may be more convenient for them to pick you up for your date, but remember you know very little about them, including what they are like as a real person. Again, there may not be any real problem but it is always better to be safe.
Let’s put it this way. You are picked up from home and arrive at your destination, for the hour everything is going fine but you then start to realise that he/she is not the one for you. Your date, on the other hand, is having a great time and think you are the best thing since internet dating. At the end of the night you arrive home and vow never to contact them again. The text messages and phone calls are easily dealt with by changing your number (yes it’s a hassle but well worth it) but what happens if they turn up on your doorstep? Not so easy to move house is it? Yes it is unlikely that this is going to happen but wouldn’t it be easier to get a taxi and meet your date there? Of course it is.
Make sure you have a way of getting home, just in case you don’t like your date as much as you thought and you don’t want them dropping you off.
The same applies to having an escape route and no I am not talking about in the event of fire!Let a friend know where you are going and that it is a first date, arrange for them to call you at a certain time. This means that if things are not going well and you really want to get out of there you have a way to do it which is also polite. It is fairly easy to do, just answer the phone and if things are going well simply say ‘Can I call you back tomorrow, I’m out at the moment’. I have done this and my date was going really well, I even told them that it was a friend ‘checking up on me’ and made a bit of a joke of it. Obviously if things are not so good you might find yourself taking part in a little role play to get out of your date. If you have kids, it might be that one of them has suddenly come down with something and you really need to get home. If you don’t have kids, any form of emergency tends to work quite well.
Not only does this ensure your safety, but it can also help you to relax and enjoy your date more. Just knowing that you don’t have to endure 2 hours with a date you might not like is often enough to settle the worst case of butterflies. The most important advice is to trust your instincts that is why you have them.
Of course there is an even greater chance that you will go out, have a great time and really like your date. In this case you might be thinking ‘What is this mad woman talking about?’ and I really hope that this is the case.
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