We all know how nervous people get when the first NSA date is looming. What to wear, where to go, what to do – and these are only the minor worries.
What if I do something that puts them off? Is probably one of the biggest concerns for a first date, but there is no need to worry at all and I am about to tell you why.
Why You Shouldn’t be Worried
Firstly, you have both been engaged in conversation for a while. You have discovered something about each other in that time which has sparked an interest, well I hope so anyway otherwise there is little point in having a date!
This means that they are interested in you and what you have to say and they obviously like your photos too. Nobody is going to put themselves in a position where they have to spend a couple of hours with someone they find boring and have no connection with. Life is too short and time is too precious to waste in that way.
Secondly, a first date is an exploration, an experiment to find out whether you are fully compatible in a non-digital environment (i.e. real life).
I know this sounds like a contradiction of the above but it really isn’t, it’s more of a complementary comment to the one above. There is only so much you can learn about each other online. The foundations are in place from the conversations and it is now time to find out if those foundations can be built on. There is still no need to worry about it if you follow these little tips.
A Few Tips to Help You On Your First Date
Always meet in a public place. I know this is an old safety tip but it can’t hurt to have a gentle reminder!
Choose your outfit carefully. What you wear on a first date says a lot about who you really are, at least in the eyes of the other person.
Avoid revealing too much flesh, nobody wants to know what the wrapping hides before the time to open the gift arrives! I generally go for the rule of legs or cleavage but never both, if I wear jeans then I might wear a more revealing top or a less revealing top with a shorter skirt.
Your choice of shoes should be made with his height in mind, not all guys are comfortable dating someone who towers over them and if you are not used to wearing heels he won’t appreciate hearing how much your feet hurt all night.
If you dress for comfort then you are more likely to feel more at ease on your date.
Don’t criticize your date. This might sound a little crazy but it does happen occasionally. There might be things which annoy you or you find irritating, this is not the time to mention it! If he chews with his mouth open (gross I know) then just avert your eyes and make a mental note of it.
This applies to anything which could be a deal-breaker for you, nobody is perfect but if you store the information and make a judgement later as to whether you can honestly live with it, your date will go a lot smoother with no hurt feelings. It far easier to sleep on it and send him a text the next day saying ‘thanks for a great night but….’ Walking out on a date is not very dignified unless the whole thing is a complete disaster.
The only time a criticism is allowed (in my book anyway) is if he drinks too much and you know he is driving, a tactful ‘Oh are you leaving the car here?’ is often enough for him to realise that drink driving is a big no in your book.
Be careful with topics of conversation. It is generally not a good idea to engage in conversations which could lead to a debate, nobody wants an argument on a first date. Generally speaking, topics to avoid include Politics and Religion. These are the two main ones which can get out of hand so unless you can accept a difference of opinion fairly quickly then it is probably best to avoid these altogether
The biggest thing to remember on a first date is to be yourself! Most people can spot a ‘fake’ a mile off and there is no point trying too hard to impress your date if you want a long term relationship.
Ultimately the truth will come out — I am not talking about outright lies here, but if you are not yourself then you will give a false impression. Can you keep up that impression in the long term?
If not, then there is no point in starting out with it. Obviously, nerves might play a part in how you act on a first date and that can be taken into account but changing your personality to fit with what you perceive as acceptable is never a good idea.
The best advice for a first date is to just enjoy yourself and try to relax, this allows your personality to shine through and give a far better impression than if you are trying to impress.